We are currently experiencing a LOT of snow here in the UK and the school reopened today after being shut during the bad weather.
For a parent of an autistic child, the extra "stuff" that comes with the snowy weather can be a bit of a headache.
Firstly, I have to dress my son for the snow. That involves hat, gloves and wellies. No problem for a normal child, but send an autistic child into school with these items and it is unlikely you will see them again. As well as his snow kit, he also had to take his homework in today, but I didn't bother, as there was no way that he was going to be able to organize taking his coat and gloves off, removing his wellies and replacing them with shoes, putting his lunchbox on the trolley AND handing in the homework. It was simply too much mental overload. So I left the homework.
The next problem was that when we got to the school, they were using a different entrance, a side door. This threw my son completely. When i asked him if he knew where his classroom was, he said "no". Thankfully, the SENCO allowed me to guide my son to his classroom.
Then what do you know? Silly me had forgotten to pack his shoes! Son freaks out: "Oh no! I will have to wear my socks all day!!!!" panic...panic...I sent him into class and promised to get his shoes to him. I sent dad with them a little later. I hope he got them OK. On top of that, his teacher is ill, and I bet the stand-in has no clue about his autism.
Hometime will be the same crazy routine. I doubt my son will come out with all the stuff he went in with. Plus, he also has to remember his swimming kit, which he left behind last Friday.
Roll on the big thaw.....
Tuesday, 22 January 2013
Wednesday, 16 January 2013
Stroppy Classroom Assistant
As my son struggles with his maths, I often come into school and spend some time helping him. I don't mind doing this, even though I still feel in a way that I am doing what the school should be doing.
The teacher asked me to come in yesterday at 1:00. I trudged to the school (roughly 16 minute walk) in the cold and ice, trying not to slip over as the path was treacherous.
When I arrived, the teacher was there to greet me and told me that she wanted me to work with my son on his letter formations. She was not teaching the class that day, the teaching assistant was taking the lesson.
When I got to the classroom, the teaching assistant looked at me disdainfully, like I was mud on her shoe.
"Are you in the middle of a lesson?" I said. "..only I have come to do some work with my son."
"You are not needed." she snapped back.
I wasn't going to be intimidated by her.
" I have been asked by the teacher to come and work with my son. She has just met me at the door and told me what she wants me to do. I have no intention of going home. I have made the effort to come all this way and I will stay. I don't want to disrupt your lesson, so I will do 15 minutes with him."
I didn't wait for her approval. I just grabbed his literacy book off the shelf, collected my son and went out in the corridor to work with him. I actually ended up working with him for 30 minutes. I bet she loved that.
Honestly, I am doing them a favour coming in and taking time out of my day to do what is essentially their job, unpaid. What the bojangles is wrong with these people? A little gratitude wouldn't go amiss.
The teacher asked me to come in yesterday at 1:00. I trudged to the school (roughly 16 minute walk) in the cold and ice, trying not to slip over as the path was treacherous.
When I arrived, the teacher was there to greet me and told me that she wanted me to work with my son on his letter formations. She was not teaching the class that day, the teaching assistant was taking the lesson.
When I got to the classroom, the teaching assistant looked at me disdainfully, like I was mud on her shoe.
"Are you in the middle of a lesson?" I said. "..only I have come to do some work with my son."
"You are not needed." she snapped back.
I wasn't going to be intimidated by her.
" I have been asked by the teacher to come and work with my son. She has just met me at the door and told me what she wants me to do. I have no intention of going home. I have made the effort to come all this way and I will stay. I don't want to disrupt your lesson, so I will do 15 minutes with him."
I didn't wait for her approval. I just grabbed his literacy book off the shelf, collected my son and went out in the corridor to work with him. I actually ended up working with him for 30 minutes. I bet she loved that.
Honestly, I am doing them a favour coming in and taking time out of my day to do what is essentially their job, unpaid. What the bojangles is wrong with these people? A little gratitude wouldn't go amiss.
Wednesday, 9 January 2013
A Positive Meeting With School Staff
Yesterday, I had a meeting with the school staff following the incident before Christmas when my son was locked out of the school building.
His class teacher was present, as well as the head of year, SENCO and headteacher.
We put a plan in place to ensure that my son will be safe at all times. We covered topics such as how he will cope at breaktimes during unstructured time, help with getting dressed and moving around school.
Many positive steps were put in place which I feel very happy about. I will be outlining these in a future blogpost, as the SENCO is typing them up into an official document.
Another development of the meeting was the fact that the school are now going to consider statementing my son. This came as a major shock, as last time we tried, I was told that he was too bright academically. The SENCO explained that although my son was clever, he was vulnerable because he had a poor sense of safety, was panicky and struggled socially. If we can get enough evidence together over the next few months to form a case, she will consider going for the statement.
This will involve the teacher logging any occasions where she has to go above and beyond her normal duties when teaching my son. I will also be keeping a diary, logging times and dates of any significant incidents.
If he gets a statement, I will be relieved, because I think it would ensure his safety at senior school.
His class teacher was present, as well as the head of year, SENCO and headteacher.
We put a plan in place to ensure that my son will be safe at all times. We covered topics such as how he will cope at breaktimes during unstructured time, help with getting dressed and moving around school.
Many positive steps were put in place which I feel very happy about. I will be outlining these in a future blogpost, as the SENCO is typing them up into an official document.
Another development of the meeting was the fact that the school are now going to consider statementing my son. This came as a major shock, as last time we tried, I was told that he was too bright academically. The SENCO explained that although my son was clever, he was vulnerable because he had a poor sense of safety, was panicky and struggled socially. If we can get enough evidence together over the next few months to form a case, she will consider going for the statement.
This will involve the teacher logging any occasions where she has to go above and beyond her normal duties when teaching my son. I will also be keeping a diary, logging times and dates of any significant incidents.
If he gets a statement, I will be relieved, because I think it would ensure his safety at senior school.
Friday, 21 December 2012
Waste of Time at CAHMS
After my visit to CAMHS with my son, I was invited back with my husband for some sessions on how to manage my son's anger and anxiety. I was hoping that she would teach us some useful techniques on managing meltdowns.
We were led into a room and for a whole hour we chatted. My husband actually fell asleep twice.
The psychologist did not actually give us any advice at all and most of the subjects we covered were the same ones we covered on the previous visit.
She did suggest we send our son to martial arts classes, but I didn't fancy the idea. It just means he would do even more damage when he lashes out! I don't want him leaping round the living room doing Kung Fu on all of us!
I felt like I wasted a whole hour of my life that I can't get back. She asked me if I needed another session and I politely declined.
I'm done with CAMHS and hope I won't be requiring their services again.
We were led into a room and for a whole hour we chatted. My husband actually fell asleep twice.
The psychologist did not actually give us any advice at all and most of the subjects we covered were the same ones we covered on the previous visit.
She did suggest we send our son to martial arts classes, but I didn't fancy the idea. It just means he would do even more damage when he lashes out! I don't want him leaping round the living room doing Kung Fu on all of us!
I felt like I wasted a whole hour of my life that I can't get back. She asked me if I needed another session and I politely declined.
I'm done with CAMHS and hope I won't be requiring their services again.
Thursday, 20 December 2012
Home Schooling My Autistic Child
After the debacle I mentioned in my last post, I had a fretful night with very little sleep. The next morning I concluded that I could not send my son to school as I would not feel he was safe.
After a lot of thought, I wrote a letter to the headteacher, withdrawing my son from the school. I briefly explained why and how I felt that the school had let us down.
I explained to my son that we were now going to have school at home. He seemed quite happy about this, although he was a bit sad that he would not see his friends anymore. We sat down and wrote out a list of the subjects we wanted to study and we made a timetable. I found that the best way to teach him was in 30 minute lessons, with short breaks in between.
I found a huge amount of resources on the internet, but will cover this in a future post. We had lots of fun with our home school, cutting, colouring and playing games.
Then, in the afternoon, I had a call from the headteacher, requesting a meeting the next day.
I managed to get in touch with the safeguarding department, who advised me to make sure that the headteacher had a plan in place for my son, should he return. She also advised me that if things did not go the way I wanted, that I should report the matter to Ofsted, who take a very dim view of children escaping from schools....
The next day, we had another full day of home school, which I must admit, I really enjoyed, even though my son was now missing school quite a lot. Autistic kids need their routine and change is hard.
I met up with the headteacher that afternoon and we forged a plan together. We will be having a meeting in January with the head, SENCO, class teacher and head of year to formulate a written plan for my son's safety and well being for the rest of his school life. I was happy with this.
I got back and told my son he was going to be able to return to school.
"Good...." He said.
"...I do like being at home mom, but I miss school".
He needs school.
So today, he went back, just in time for the end of term party. He got lots of votes in the dance contest, which pleased him no end!
As for me, sending him back was bittersweet, but I must admit that I am quite relieved that it all worked out. I have a new found respect for those who choose to home educate. It is certainly not the easy option.
After a lot of thought, I wrote a letter to the headteacher, withdrawing my son from the school. I briefly explained why and how I felt that the school had let us down.
I explained to my son that we were now going to have school at home. He seemed quite happy about this, although he was a bit sad that he would not see his friends anymore. We sat down and wrote out a list of the subjects we wanted to study and we made a timetable. I found that the best way to teach him was in 30 minute lessons, with short breaks in between.
I found a huge amount of resources on the internet, but will cover this in a future post. We had lots of fun with our home school, cutting, colouring and playing games.
Then, in the afternoon, I had a call from the headteacher, requesting a meeting the next day.
I managed to get in touch with the safeguarding department, who advised me to make sure that the headteacher had a plan in place for my son, should he return. She also advised me that if things did not go the way I wanted, that I should report the matter to Ofsted, who take a very dim view of children escaping from schools....
The next day, we had another full day of home school, which I must admit, I really enjoyed, even though my son was now missing school quite a lot. Autistic kids need their routine and change is hard.
I met up with the headteacher that afternoon and we forged a plan together. We will be having a meeting in January with the head, SENCO, class teacher and head of year to formulate a written plan for my son's safety and well being for the rest of his school life. I was happy with this.
I got back and told my son he was going to be able to return to school.
"Good...." He said.
"...I do like being at home mom, but I miss school".
He needs school.
So today, he went back, just in time for the end of term party. He got lots of votes in the dance contest, which pleased him no end!
As for me, sending him back was bittersweet, but I must admit that I am quite relieved that it all worked out. I have a new found respect for those who choose to home educate. It is certainly not the easy option.
Tuesday, 18 December 2012
Time to Quit School?
I thought things were going well at school. Until yesterday.
I arrived to fetch the kids, only to find my son outside the school, standing in the playground by himself. Obviously, this was a completely dangerous situation, because the school gates were open and there was nothing to stop him walking through them and down the street, or walking off with a complete stranger.
The school building is made of two separate buildings and you have to cross the playground to get to the other one. My son had crossed the playground, but had been unable to gain entry into the other one, as there were no staff around. The result was that he was stranded outside in the rain.
I spoke to the teacher and got the usual "we're very sorry" spiel, but somehow it did not feel good enough. After all, this is the fourth time that this has happened now. It happened three times last year. The staff don't seem all that concerned that their pupils could possible wander off or get abducted.I spoke to the SENCO and got a similar response. I told her that apologies seemed a bit empty at this stage and that I didn't think my son was safe at her school.
This morning I sent a withdrawal letter, requesting that my son be removed from the register. I will have to home-school him unless things change. My son was quite happy at the idea of home-school, and we have spent the day building skeletons, reading stories and learning about the orchestra.
This afternoon, the head teacher phoned, sounding very apologetic. She wants to meet with me tomorrow. There may still be a chance to resolve this, but I want more than an apology. I need to see a real commitment to change.
We will see.
I arrived to fetch the kids, only to find my son outside the school, standing in the playground by himself. Obviously, this was a completely dangerous situation, because the school gates were open and there was nothing to stop him walking through them and down the street, or walking off with a complete stranger.
The school building is made of two separate buildings and you have to cross the playground to get to the other one. My son had crossed the playground, but had been unable to gain entry into the other one, as there were no staff around. The result was that he was stranded outside in the rain.
I spoke to the teacher and got the usual "we're very sorry" spiel, but somehow it did not feel good enough. After all, this is the fourth time that this has happened now. It happened three times last year. The staff don't seem all that concerned that their pupils could possible wander off or get abducted.I spoke to the SENCO and got a similar response. I told her that apologies seemed a bit empty at this stage and that I didn't think my son was safe at her school.
This morning I sent a withdrawal letter, requesting that my son be removed from the register. I will have to home-school him unless things change. My son was quite happy at the idea of home-school, and we have spent the day building skeletons, reading stories and learning about the orchestra.
This afternoon, the head teacher phoned, sounding very apologetic. She wants to meet with me tomorrow. There may still be a chance to resolve this, but I want more than an apology. I need to see a real commitment to change.
We will see.
Friday, 14 December 2012
Another Bad Day at School
My son came out of school really upset again yesterday. He was crying.
A boy in his class left at the end of last term to go to a new school and my son found it really hard to cope with the change. My son considered the boy to be his friend, as he was often chosen to be his partner during schoolwork. He keeps asking me why the boy left and he gets really sad about it.
Anyway, apparently, this boy sent a letter to the class and the teacher read it out. The opened up the wounds again for my son, who was inconsolable.
He also was upset because the resident bully had been picking on him yet again. When I went into the school, I got a good look at this boy who had been bullying my son and he was not your typical bully. He was obviously a very bright boy, very articulate and not particularly big and strong. I think he was in the top group for literacy and maths, the total opposite of my son. He looked like butter wouldn't melt.
So at lunchtime, when my son usually wanders around alone, bully boy decided to round up a few other kids to laugh at my son and run away. This got my son really agitated and angry, which further fuelled the boys.
I spoke to the teacher about it and she talked to the bully again today. Now it is the third time he has been reported, they are going to take the matter seriously.
We will wait and see.
A boy in his class left at the end of last term to go to a new school and my son found it really hard to cope with the change. My son considered the boy to be his friend, as he was often chosen to be his partner during schoolwork. He keeps asking me why the boy left and he gets really sad about it.
Anyway, apparently, this boy sent a letter to the class and the teacher read it out. The opened up the wounds again for my son, who was inconsolable.
He also was upset because the resident bully had been picking on him yet again. When I went into the school, I got a good look at this boy who had been bullying my son and he was not your typical bully. He was obviously a very bright boy, very articulate and not particularly big and strong. I think he was in the top group for literacy and maths, the total opposite of my son. He looked like butter wouldn't melt.
So at lunchtime, when my son usually wanders around alone, bully boy decided to round up a few other kids to laugh at my son and run away. This got my son really agitated and angry, which further fuelled the boys.
I spoke to the teacher about it and she talked to the bully again today. Now it is the third time he has been reported, they are going to take the matter seriously.
We will wait and see.
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