I was very lucky to receive an invitation to the Barnado's Cygnet Course, which is a parenting course for carers of kids with autism between 8-18. I liked the fact that it was tailored to older kids and was also intrigued by some of the interesting topics that will be covered; my primary interest being sensory processing issues.
I'd missed the first week, which was just introductions but the instructor kindly gave me a brief refresher of the main points covered. She also gave me the course booklet, a questionnaire to fill in and a pen and pad for notes. I think we do a questionnaire at the end of the course to see if we have improved in confidence after applying the techniques.
Today's lesson was communication.
The lesson was a PowerPoint presentation and all of the slides are also featured in the book, which is handy. The tutors look at each slide and discuss them with the group. We also had a couple of activities about communication, which also served as ice-breakers, with the group discussing how, why and what we communicate. We also did a game, which was putting a jumbled sentence in order.
We learned about overcoming barriers to communication and also about social stories and issues specific to autistic kids.
The session was fun, but I didn't find it particularly relevant to me, as my son doesn't have many of the issues discussed today. Next week will be more important for me, as it's about sensory problems. It was nice to meet other parents of autistic kids though, and the instructors were lovely.
I will report back next week after attending the next session and give my feedback on how it went.
Wednesday, 26 November 2014
Monday, 3 November 2014
Getting a Social Worker for My Autistic Child
Expect lots of hoop-jumping when you have a child with special needs. Nobody makes it easy and just because you have a diagnosis, it does not mean that you will automatically be connected to the services you need. Kids don't come with a guidebook, especially autistic ones.
A few of my friends who have autistic children have recommended that I get a social worker to advise on appropriate services for my son. At first the idea seemed terrifying: a Social Worker? I'm not a child abuser or neglectful parent, why would I need one of those? But a little research allayed my fears and I now understand that child protection is only one of many roles performed by Social Services. A social worker can perform an assessment on a child and advise on appropriate services and funding to help you.
Easier said than done. Having decided I was going to get a social worker involved, my first problem was finding one. It seems that they are quite an elusive species. After a LOT of internet research, I dialled what I thought was the right number, only to find out that it was the department for adult social care. The lady kindly gave me another number to dial.
Unfortunately, this too, was the wrong number. Right department, but wrong number. They needed a referral from another team in order to assess my child. She gave me ANOTHER number to dial.
At this point, I was a bit shaky and teary. I'd spent ages researching and phoning around, only to hit dead ends. I was physically unable to dial the number as I was too upset. I got my husband to do it. He got through and the lady took some details from him and said she would call back. It was only when I checked the number on the Internet that I realised that particular department dealt with vulnerable and neglected kids rather than special needs ones. Oh great, so now I'm probably on some "list" that I really don't want to be on...
...anyway, I haven't had a callback yet, although I have a horrible mental image of a SWAT team bursting into my home later today to drag my kids off.
And all because I just wanted advice about Saturday clubs...!
*UPDATE Social services were excellent and gave me a full "Carers Assessment." This resulted in my son being offered a place at a youth club for autistic children and also a grant for me to have some relaxation. This could be a spa session, gardening work or decorating. It allowed me to get my bathroom decorated and create a little sanctuary for myself.
A few of my friends who have autistic children have recommended that I get a social worker to advise on appropriate services for my son. At first the idea seemed terrifying: a Social Worker? I'm not a child abuser or neglectful parent, why would I need one of those? But a little research allayed my fears and I now understand that child protection is only one of many roles performed by Social Services. A social worker can perform an assessment on a child and advise on appropriate services and funding to help you.
Easier said than done. Having decided I was going to get a social worker involved, my first problem was finding one. It seems that they are quite an elusive species. After a LOT of internet research, I dialled what I thought was the right number, only to find out that it was the department for adult social care. The lady kindly gave me another number to dial.
Unfortunately, this too, was the wrong number. Right department, but wrong number. They needed a referral from another team in order to assess my child. She gave me ANOTHER number to dial.
At this point, I was a bit shaky and teary. I'd spent ages researching and phoning around, only to hit dead ends. I was physically unable to dial the number as I was too upset. I got my husband to do it. He got through and the lady took some details from him and said she would call back. It was only when I checked the number on the Internet that I realised that particular department dealt with vulnerable and neglected kids rather than special needs ones. Oh great, so now I'm probably on some "list" that I really don't want to be on...
...anyway, I haven't had a callback yet, although I have a horrible mental image of a SWAT team bursting into my home later today to drag my kids off.
And all because I just wanted advice about Saturday clubs...!
*UPDATE Social services were excellent and gave me a full "Carers Assessment." This resulted in my son being offered a place at a youth club for autistic children and also a grant for me to have some relaxation. This could be a spa session, gardening work or decorating. It allowed me to get my bathroom decorated and create a little sanctuary for myself.
Wednesday, 27 August 2014
Unwanted Advice
If you have a child with ADHD or Autism, the chances are that at some point, you have been the recipient of unwanted advice.
I suppose that the very worst type is unwanted advice from complete strangers, who see your kid having a major meltdown in the street and just HAVE to wade in with their opinion...
But it is advice from well-meaning friends that "gets" to me the most.
I think the problem originates in the way that the friend reacts to your conversations about your child.
I don't think they always understand that you sometimes want to "sound off" about stuff that is going on. Just because you are talking about some aspect of your child's behaviour, doesn't necessarily mean that you are asking that person for advice or a solution. Most of the time, you just want to talk about things.
We all know people that think that they must provide a "solution" to everything we bring up in conversation. If you mention you are going out somewhere, they butt in with a huge list of directions to the place before you've even had chance to explain that "I know exactly where it is, thank you".
I know that they are trying to be helpful, trying to be a good friend even, but it is really annoying!
So now that I have mentioned that my son might have ADHD, people feel they need to "fix" the situation by giving me lots of unwanted advice.
I have received the whole gamut in just a few days; the fact that I should go and buy OTC sedatives from the pharmacist (I don't think so), discipline him more, stop giving in to him, blah blah blah. One friend even offered to come round on evening to give me some "parenting advice". Er, thanks.
It all becomes background noise.
Sometimes I DO want advice. Sometimes I'm crying out for advice! It's just the unwanted advice I don't like. If I want advice, I will ask my family, or a health professional, or an organisation that deals with autism.
So please, if you are reading this and you are a person prone to giving unwanted advice to others, please stop! Be a good friend, be a hearing ear, nod in the right places, but don't wade in with your opinions, unless you are asked for them.
If, on the other hand, you are reading this because you are the recipient of unwanted advice, you have my deepest sympathy. Please try to be tolerant to your friends, they are only trying to help. Perhaps you should invest in a small set of earplugs...
And if you know that your friends are prone to give advice every time you mention your child's condition, maybe it is time to start talking about something else when they are around!
I suppose that the very worst type is unwanted advice from complete strangers, who see your kid having a major meltdown in the street and just HAVE to wade in with their opinion...
But it is advice from well-meaning friends that "gets" to me the most.
I think the problem originates in the way that the friend reacts to your conversations about your child.
I don't think they always understand that you sometimes want to "sound off" about stuff that is going on. Just because you are talking about some aspect of your child's behaviour, doesn't necessarily mean that you are asking that person for advice or a solution. Most of the time, you just want to talk about things.
We all know people that think that they must provide a "solution" to everything we bring up in conversation. If you mention you are going out somewhere, they butt in with a huge list of directions to the place before you've even had chance to explain that "I know exactly where it is, thank you".
I know that they are trying to be helpful, trying to be a good friend even, but it is really annoying!
So now that I have mentioned that my son might have ADHD, people feel they need to "fix" the situation by giving me lots of unwanted advice.
I have received the whole gamut in just a few days; the fact that I should go and buy OTC sedatives from the pharmacist (I don't think so), discipline him more, stop giving in to him, blah blah blah. One friend even offered to come round on evening to give me some "parenting advice". Er, thanks.
It all becomes background noise.
Sometimes I DO want advice. Sometimes I'm crying out for advice! It's just the unwanted advice I don't like. If I want advice, I will ask my family, or a health professional, or an organisation that deals with autism.
So please, if you are reading this and you are a person prone to giving unwanted advice to others, please stop! Be a good friend, be a hearing ear, nod in the right places, but don't wade in with your opinions, unless you are asked for them.
If, on the other hand, you are reading this because you are the recipient of unwanted advice, you have my deepest sympathy. Please try to be tolerant to your friends, they are only trying to help. Perhaps you should invest in a small set of earplugs...
And if you know that your friends are prone to give advice every time you mention your child's condition, maybe it is time to start talking about something else when they are around!
Tuesday, 26 August 2014
Attack Mode
The simplest of pleasures, like a day out with family, can turn quickly into a disaster if you don't have your eye on the ball, ESPECIALLY of your child has autism.
We took a nice family trip to the science museum today. There was a new, outdoor, section called the "science garden" with lots of lovely interactive features. One area had a water feature where you could race plastic ducks. My son was obsessed with it.
We were busy looking at a water wheel and I thought that my son was right by us, but unbeknownst to me, he had wandered off back to the ducks.
At that moment I heard and almighty scream! I turned around to see my son yelling at the top of his voice because a kid had squirted water at him. Not only that but the kid and his whole family were laughing at my sons extreme reaction.
He didn't take well to being laughed at and gave and almighty roar before launching himself at the laughing family, teeth bared and fists flailing.
Luckily we managed to grab him before he thumped someone.
Unfortunately, wherever you go, there will always be inconsiderate IDIOTS who spoil the fun. A simple apology from the child would have prevented things from escalating, but no, they have to point and laugh, don't they?
And as for my son? He's got to learn that people can be like that sometimes. He has got to stop overreacting. He needs to control himself better. It is going to take time. But if he doesn't learn this important skill, life is going to be tough. You can't go round hitting everyone who upsets you, even if you feel like it...
And me? Well, I need eyes in the back of my head, but I doubt if even the science museum can provide me with those.
We took a nice family trip to the science museum today. There was a new, outdoor, section called the "science garden" with lots of lovely interactive features. One area had a water feature where you could race plastic ducks. My son was obsessed with it.
We were busy looking at a water wheel and I thought that my son was right by us, but unbeknownst to me, he had wandered off back to the ducks.
At that moment I heard and almighty scream! I turned around to see my son yelling at the top of his voice because a kid had squirted water at him. Not only that but the kid and his whole family were laughing at my sons extreme reaction.
He didn't take well to being laughed at and gave and almighty roar before launching himself at the laughing family, teeth bared and fists flailing.
Luckily we managed to grab him before he thumped someone.
Unfortunately, wherever you go, there will always be inconsiderate IDIOTS who spoil the fun. A simple apology from the child would have prevented things from escalating, but no, they have to point and laugh, don't they?
And as for my son? He's got to learn that people can be like that sometimes. He has got to stop overreacting. He needs to control himself better. It is going to take time. But if he doesn't learn this important skill, life is going to be tough. You can't go round hitting everyone who upsets you, even if you feel like it...
And me? Well, I need eyes in the back of my head, but I doubt if even the science museum can provide me with those.
Tuesday, 19 August 2014
Return to CAMHS
Some time last year, I wrote about our uneventful visit to CAHMS. During the visit, my son sat like an angel, which resulted in us being quickly discharged and dismissed!
This time was different. During THIS visit, my son was his usual bouncy self. He shouted, he spun round and round, he interrupted and he told the counsellor that he was boring...
The funniest moment was when the counsellor started a sentence and my son interrupted him.
Man: Your son is a child...
Son: WHAT???. Obviously I'm a child! What are you talking about?
Me: He hadn't finished his sentence. Just listen.
Man: Your son is a child...
Son: You already said that. I am a child.
Me: Just let the man talk!
Man: ...your son is a child who has needs that we can address here at CAHMS.
I was so relieved that the poor man got to finish his sentence, although he did indicate that my sons constant shuffling, interruptions and lack of understanding of danger may be symptoms of ADHD. Further sessions with specialists may reveal a further diagnosis.
It was an eventful visit and we have been out on a waiting list to have further sessions.
This time was different. During THIS visit, my son was his usual bouncy self. He shouted, he spun round and round, he interrupted and he told the counsellor that he was boring...
The funniest moment was when the counsellor started a sentence and my son interrupted him.
Man: Your son is a child...
Son: WHAT???. Obviously I'm a child! What are you talking about?
Me: He hadn't finished his sentence. Just listen.
Man: Your son is a child...
Son: You already said that. I am a child.
Me: Just let the man talk!
Man: ...your son is a child who has needs that we can address here at CAHMS.
I was so relieved that the poor man got to finish his sentence, although he did indicate that my sons constant shuffling, interruptions and lack of understanding of danger may be symptoms of ADHD. Further sessions with specialists may reveal a further diagnosis.
It was an eventful visit and we have been out on a waiting list to have further sessions.
Saturday, 16 August 2014
How to Get Noticed by Staff
Sometimes it's handy to have a child with autism around...
Yesterday's was at the local hospital visiting an elderly friend. I arrived at the ward and the staff were acting like I was completely invisible. The receptionist was looking down, shuffling papers, other staff members were chatting amongst themselves. I only wanted to ask someone which bay my friend was on.
Suddenly my son, who has sensory issues, screamed out loud "IT STINKS IN HERE!!!! GET ME OUT, GET ME OUT!!!!". It was a ward for the elderly and to be honest, the smell of urine and other things was quite overwhelming, even for me.
Anyway, suddenly a big bustling nurse came out, asking what the problem was. I was swiftly directed to my friend and got the help I needed.
Now THATS how to get quick customer service. I'm thinking of taking him everywhere now; the ideal solution to all my customer service needs!
Yesterday's was at the local hospital visiting an elderly friend. I arrived at the ward and the staff were acting like I was completely invisible. The receptionist was looking down, shuffling papers, other staff members were chatting amongst themselves. I only wanted to ask someone which bay my friend was on.
Suddenly my son, who has sensory issues, screamed out loud "IT STINKS IN HERE!!!! GET ME OUT, GET ME OUT!!!!". It was a ward for the elderly and to be honest, the smell of urine and other things was quite overwhelming, even for me.
Anyway, suddenly a big bustling nurse came out, asking what the problem was. I was swiftly directed to my friend and got the help I needed.
Now THATS how to get quick customer service. I'm thinking of taking him everywhere now; the ideal solution to all my customer service needs!
Wednesday, 2 July 2014
Charlotte's Tandems
I just got this in an email today, so I thought I'd share....
Charlotte's Tandems is a Registered Charity that lends tandems to people with additional needs or disabilities for FREE. We are different to many other charities as our Borrowers have the use of our bikes for two months in their own time.
Have a look at our website to see how much fun people can have on our bikes.
Please could you tell your contacts about us and put us on your website and newsletters?
Best wishes,
Alex Reeves
Charlotte's Tandems
Click on these words for links to the Borrower's Form, the Charlotte's Tandems Facebook group, Twitter Feed @CharlottesTand and our Video
...sounds cool and I like the fact that it is free!
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