Having a child with special needs is like being dropped off on a remote island with no equipment and expected to "get on with it". You are either going to flounder hopelessly, or quickly acquire the necessary survival skills. Or, perhaps a bit of both!
Its not as if someone hands you a big book with everything you need to know. You pick up information as you go along. Strange code words like SEN, IEP and big words like "pragmatic semantic", start to make sense over time, but sound like a different language when you first hear them.
I wish I knew everything I know now back when my son was small. I would have almost certainly pushed harder for a statement of special needs back when he was in Reception, still in nappies and scribbling indecipherable babble, whilst all of his classmates wrote their names neatly in their books. But I didn't. This was because, at the time, I had never heard of a statement of special needs. And now I am in some sort of educational limbo, or as it is more commonly known, School Action Plus.
School Action Plus is when the school know your kid has special needs, but do not get any extra funding to support them. Staff are stretched, and unless you make a big fuss, they will presume everything is alright.
Case in hand. Birds in a nest......
You know on those nature documentaries where the baby birds are in the nest and the mom comes with the food? They all start chirping and flapping. The big fat noisy one gets fed and the little runty one usually gets nothing, withers away and dies. That's life. You have to be big, fat, noisy and flappy to get anywhere with school staff.
I was talking to one of the other moms at the school who also has a child with aspergers. I asked her how she felt the school coped with her daughters disability.
"Do you want the truth?" she whispered.
"Terrible."
She went on to explain how she had to fight to get everything for her daughter. If she went quiet, the school would presume everything was fine and do nothing.
Fight. That is a word I hear all of the time.
Every parent I know with a disabled child has had to fight for their child's education. Fight with staff, fight with the Local Education authority. Fight with school governors. That's a lot of fighting. And the fighting doesn't stop there.
I found an interesting document online, which was about making every school a good school for people with autism.
It made a statement that really got me thinking. Basically, it said that lack of progress is cumulative over many years. The current year teacher may not notice, but the parents will.
This is a scary thought. My son's brain is still making connections. If the education system is failing him now, then he will fall further and further behind.
I was speaking to a friend who has an autistic son who has recently taken his GCSE's. He got mostly A grades. She said that there was no way he would have acheived this is they had not fought for a statement when he was young. It was only because of the extra support that he had received in class that he did so well.
That scares me. My son has no support.
I spoke to his teacher this morning about me going in and helping him in class a few days a week. She was really enthusiastic about the idea.
I know it will help, but I can't help feeling like I am doing the school's job for them. If I am in class helping my son, there is less incentive for them to do anything about the situation.
Thursday, 22 November 2012
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
More Trouble at School....
I am feeling increasingly guilty about sending my son to school. Every day he comes home and tells me of yet another incident of bullying. I feel like I send him into the lion's den every morning.
Previously on this blog, I mentioned a boy in his class who has made it a personal goal to make my son's life a misery. His abuse is usually verbal, but lately, it has also been physical. Only a few weeks ago, I had to tell the teacher about an incident where this child had unravelled a paperclip and was trying to stab my son with the sharp end. The teacher spoke to the boy and I hoped that the bullying would stop.
Yesterday, My son said that the bullying had started again. The boy had been taunting my son with a bag of Monster Munch (snacks with a very strong flavour and scent). Kids with autism are hypersensitive to smells, and the smell of Monster Munch makes my son feel sick. When the boy realized this, he kept putting the bag near his face and then eventually threw the bag of snacks in my son's face. Of course, my son did not think to mention any of this to a staff member.
In the playground, my son plays by himself. He is happy in his own world. During break, a kid kicked a football in my son's face. He said it was an accident, but the child involved was a child who had been previously bullying him.
The "bullying" does not stop with the children. In class the teacher explained to the children instructions on how to write a story and then sent them to their desks to write it. Unfortunately, in a large group, my son "tunes out" voices, and needs one on one instruction, to take in information properly. When he got to his desk, he wrote the story wrong and the teacher was furious. She then announced to the whole class that if she was giving out prizes for good behaviour, my son would be the last person to get one. This reduced him to tears. Unfortunately, I do not know whether the teacher has had much training about autism or how it affects a child's ability to process instruction.
He was pretty miserable about going in today. I had to fight back the tears when I sent him in. I felt like I was sending him to his doom. I am in tears typing this.
Previously on this blog, I mentioned a boy in his class who has made it a personal goal to make my son's life a misery. His abuse is usually verbal, but lately, it has also been physical. Only a few weeks ago, I had to tell the teacher about an incident where this child had unravelled a paperclip and was trying to stab my son with the sharp end. The teacher spoke to the boy and I hoped that the bullying would stop.
Yesterday, My son said that the bullying had started again. The boy had been taunting my son with a bag of Monster Munch (snacks with a very strong flavour and scent). Kids with autism are hypersensitive to smells, and the smell of Monster Munch makes my son feel sick. When the boy realized this, he kept putting the bag near his face and then eventually threw the bag of snacks in my son's face. Of course, my son did not think to mention any of this to a staff member.
In the playground, my son plays by himself. He is happy in his own world. During break, a kid kicked a football in my son's face. He said it was an accident, but the child involved was a child who had been previously bullying him.
The "bullying" does not stop with the children. In class the teacher explained to the children instructions on how to write a story and then sent them to their desks to write it. Unfortunately, in a large group, my son "tunes out" voices, and needs one on one instruction, to take in information properly. When he got to his desk, he wrote the story wrong and the teacher was furious. She then announced to the whole class that if she was giving out prizes for good behaviour, my son would be the last person to get one. This reduced him to tears. Unfortunately, I do not know whether the teacher has had much training about autism or how it affects a child's ability to process instruction.
He was pretty miserable about going in today. I had to fight back the tears when I sent him in. I felt like I was sending him to his doom. I am in tears typing this.
Sunday, 18 November 2012
A Trip to Waterworld: As Seen By the Kids......
I was recently invited to take part in a competition to find Britain's best day out. The competition is being run by Moneysupermarket.com and the Tots 100 parent blogging website and involves hundreds of tickets being sent out to parent bloggers across the country. The bloggers will then review the attraction, with the best blogpost winning a prize!
I was delighted to receive an email telling me that my family had been selected to review Waterworld, a tropical aqua park in Stoke on Trent, Staffordshire. This all-weather attraction is a veritable paradise for families, with attractions for all ages and abilities. Waterworld has 400,000 visitors every year and offers a great "tropical beach" escape from our dull British weather. At Waterworld, it is summer all year round.
The pool area resembles an south sea island, complete with palm trees, overhanging plants and a shallow beach area. Visitors can do as much or as little as they please. Parents can relax and enjoy the warmth whilst relaxing on a beachside chair. Toddlers can splash around in their own dedicated pirate-themed lagoon. Thrill seekers can check out the many flumes and rides, including the rapids and space bowl. The main pool area is an ideal place for young kids to practise their swimming skills under the safe supervision of the many lifeguards on duty.
I liked the fact that the slides and flumes catered for different abilities, including those who could not swim. For example, the huge rainbow slide near the entrance of the pool was a real hit with young and old alike, but had shallow water at the end, making it completely safe. The small flumes in the pirate-themed area also had shallow water at the bottom. My little boy absolutely loved them and went on over and over again.
The bigger kids headed straight for the thrill rides. One ride required riders to sit in an inflatable tube, whilst coasting high above the pool area. The flume rides varied in intensity, and my kids loved the one that was completely dark inside with pulsating flashing lights. The space bowl was another big-thrill ride, which sent swimmers swirling around and around before plunging them into a tank of deep water at the end.
Now I must confess, my choice of attraction has put me at a bit of a disadvantage to the other bloggers in the competition, as visitors are not allowed to take photographs or video during their visit. Undeterred, I teamed up with the kids and their toys to recreate the Waterworld experience in the most creative way possible. Here is the result:
According to the kids........
....the rainbow slide was fun for all ages......
....the flumes were exciting......
......the monkey bars over the water were really tricky....
.....the Space Bowl makes you dizzy.....
.....we rode the tube slides again and again.....
........and again.....
.....it was great coasting along on the inflatable rings....
......and the wave machine made us feel like we were at the beach!
In fact, the kids loved it so much, they made a pop video too.
Finally, I thought I would interview the kids to get their impressions of the visit to Waterworld.
So kids. What did you do at Waterworld?
Son Aged 12: I went on all the waterslides and ran across the lilypads. I had a swim in the pool and went on the rapids.
Daughter Aged 9: I went on 8 slides and I swam underwater like a mermaid.
Son Aged 7: I went underwater. I went on the bumpy slide, the orange one and the green one. It was fun!
What was your favourite activity?
Son Aged 12: Going on the tube slide.
Daughter Aged 9: Going on the slides with my brother.
Son aged 7: Going on the orange slide.
How would you describe Waterworld in one word?
Son aged 12: Fantastic!
Daughter Aged 9: Fun!
Son Aged 7: Brilliant!
Would you like to go again?
All: YES!!!!!!
In conclusion, we had a great day out at Waterworld and we are grateful to Moneysupermarket and Tots 100 for supplying us with free tickets. We plan to visit again in the near future. Admission to Waterworld costs £37.50 for a family of four and £47.50 for a family of five. The Moneysupermarket.com voucher site offers a range of money-off vouchers so that families can visit Waterworld and other attractions in the UK at a discounted price.
I was delighted to receive an email telling me that my family had been selected to review Waterworld, a tropical aqua park in Stoke on Trent, Staffordshire. This all-weather attraction is a veritable paradise for families, with attractions for all ages and abilities. Waterworld has 400,000 visitors every year and offers a great "tropical beach" escape from our dull British weather. At Waterworld, it is summer all year round.
The pool area resembles an south sea island, complete with palm trees, overhanging plants and a shallow beach area. Visitors can do as much or as little as they please. Parents can relax and enjoy the warmth whilst relaxing on a beachside chair. Toddlers can splash around in their own dedicated pirate-themed lagoon. Thrill seekers can check out the many flumes and rides, including the rapids and space bowl. The main pool area is an ideal place for young kids to practise their swimming skills under the safe supervision of the many lifeguards on duty.
I liked the fact that the slides and flumes catered for different abilities, including those who could not swim. For example, the huge rainbow slide near the entrance of the pool was a real hit with young and old alike, but had shallow water at the end, making it completely safe. The small flumes in the pirate-themed area also had shallow water at the bottom. My little boy absolutely loved them and went on over and over again.
The bigger kids headed straight for the thrill rides. One ride required riders to sit in an inflatable tube, whilst coasting high above the pool area. The flume rides varied in intensity, and my kids loved the one that was completely dark inside with pulsating flashing lights. The space bowl was another big-thrill ride, which sent swimmers swirling around and around before plunging them into a tank of deep water at the end.
Now I must confess, my choice of attraction has put me at a bit of a disadvantage to the other bloggers in the competition, as visitors are not allowed to take photographs or video during their visit. Undeterred, I teamed up with the kids and their toys to recreate the Waterworld experience in the most creative way possible. Here is the result:
According to the kids........
In fact, the kids loved it so much, they made a pop video too.
Finally, I thought I would interview the kids to get their impressions of the visit to Waterworld.
So kids. What did you do at Waterworld?
Son Aged 12: I went on all the waterslides and ran across the lilypads. I had a swim in the pool and went on the rapids.
Daughter Aged 9: I went on 8 slides and I swam underwater like a mermaid.
Son Aged 7: I went underwater. I went on the bumpy slide, the orange one and the green one. It was fun!
What was your favourite activity?
Son Aged 12: Going on the tube slide.
Daughter Aged 9: Going on the slides with my brother.
Son aged 7: Going on the orange slide.
How would you describe Waterworld in one word?
Son aged 12: Fantastic!
Daughter Aged 9: Fun!
Son Aged 7: Brilliant!
Would you like to go again?
All: YES!!!!!!
In conclusion, we had a great day out at Waterworld and we are grateful to Moneysupermarket and Tots 100 for supplying us with free tickets. We plan to visit again in the near future. Admission to Waterworld costs £37.50 for a family of four and £47.50 for a family of five. The Moneysupermarket.com voucher site offers a range of money-off vouchers so that families can visit Waterworld and other attractions in the UK at a discounted price.
Thursday, 15 November 2012
IEP: Individual Education Program
When you have a child with special needs, you suddenly come across a whole world of new words, terms and acronyms to get your head around.
Yesterday I met with the school SENCO, to discuss my son's IEP.
Or...In plain English.....
I met with the member of staff at school who is responsible for children with special needs. We get together every few months to create an Individual Education plan for my son, which is basically a list of targets that the school would like him to work on.
We have to decide together on three targets. His last targets were:
1. To participate more in partner time on the carpet: He has improved in this but said that a lot of the time, the other kids don't want to talk to him, so he still needs a little help here.
2. To improve in column addition: He is almost there, but has trouble remembering to carry numbers.
3. To improve handwriting, especially finger spaces: BIG improvement on this one!
After we discussed his improvements, we then had to decide on three new targets. In the end, we decided on:
1. To learn times tables 2s, 5s and 10s off by heart.
2. To try and keep letters of a uniform size when writing.
3. To remember to collect all appropriate equipment after school on Friday. He has to remember his coat, hat, bag, PE kit and homework, plus any letters home. The teacher is going to give him a checklist for this.
She then asked my son how he felt about school. he said he was happy at school and liked it. I said that I felt his maths had really improved. he has been on a new program called "rapid maths", which seems to be helping him a lot.
We then all signed the IEP and will have the next review in February.
Yesterday I met with the school SENCO, to discuss my son's IEP.
Or...In plain English.....
I met with the member of staff at school who is responsible for children with special needs. We get together every few months to create an Individual Education plan for my son, which is basically a list of targets that the school would like him to work on.
We have to decide together on three targets. His last targets were:
1. To participate more in partner time on the carpet: He has improved in this but said that a lot of the time, the other kids don't want to talk to him, so he still needs a little help here.
2. To improve in column addition: He is almost there, but has trouble remembering to carry numbers.
3. To improve handwriting, especially finger spaces: BIG improvement on this one!
After we discussed his improvements, we then had to decide on three new targets. In the end, we decided on:
1. To learn times tables 2s, 5s and 10s off by heart.
2. To try and keep letters of a uniform size when writing.
3. To remember to collect all appropriate equipment after school on Friday. He has to remember his coat, hat, bag, PE kit and homework, plus any letters home. The teacher is going to give him a checklist for this.
She then asked my son how he felt about school. he said he was happy at school and liked it. I said that I felt his maths had really improved. he has been on a new program called "rapid maths", which seems to be helping him a lot.
We then all signed the IEP and will have the next review in February.
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
The School Bully
Yes. I'm writing yet ANOTHER post about bullying. Unfortunately, kids with autism have poor social skills and are often the target of bullies. This problem is unlikely to go away any time soon but hopefully I can arm my son with some of the skills he needs to survive school.
Last year my son suffered terribly at the hands of bullies, but a certain boy in particular made him a target. The teacher at the time was very good at dealing with the problem and things went quiet for a while.
My son has been mentioning this boy a lot lately, but things came to a head yesterday. He said that the boy had twisted a paperclip open and had been trying to stab him with it. He also said that the boy had picked his nose and tried to wipe it on my son's top. When my son goes into the corridor to get his coat, the bully blocks his way.
I have spoken to the teacher today, who was really good about it. My son often fails to mention incidents like this to the teacher, so I have been reinforcing the idea by reminding him to tell her. The teacher said she had actually found the paperclip and had taken it off the boy, although she didn't realise that he had been using it to try and stab people.
I will be logging all bullying incidents although of course, I would hope that there would not be any more.
Last year my son suffered terribly at the hands of bullies, but a certain boy in particular made him a target. The teacher at the time was very good at dealing with the problem and things went quiet for a while.
My son has been mentioning this boy a lot lately, but things came to a head yesterday. He said that the boy had twisted a paperclip open and had been trying to stab him with it. He also said that the boy had picked his nose and tried to wipe it on my son's top. When my son goes into the corridor to get his coat, the bully blocks his way.
I have spoken to the teacher today, who was really good about it. My son often fails to mention incidents like this to the teacher, so I have been reinforcing the idea by reminding him to tell her. The teacher said she had actually found the paperclip and had taken it off the boy, although she didn't realise that he had been using it to try and stab people.
I will be logging all bullying incidents although of course, I would hope that there would not be any more.
Thursday, 11 October 2012
Coping in Class
I went to parents evening last night.
The teacher was pretty happy with my sons progress, but said that he can often look lost and bewildered in class. If she gives the class several instructions, like "Put your books away, grab your whiteboards and come and sit on the carpet", he would get totally confused, because it is too much information for him.
I did mention that he need instructions reinforcing and that they are best given one to one rather than to a group.
He is holding his own academically. He has a 2c in maths and a 2b in reading. This puts him a bit behind the rest of the class now he is in year 3, but not so far behind that he has big issues. A teacher is doing maths with him in a smaller group to help him catch up. Because of this, he will not be eligible for a statement of SEN, as he is not far enough behind the rest of the class.
The teacher is also going to make him a laminated checklist so he can remember what to bring with him when he finishes school on a Friday.
The teacher was pretty happy with my sons progress, but said that he can often look lost and bewildered in class. If she gives the class several instructions, like "Put your books away, grab your whiteboards and come and sit on the carpet", he would get totally confused, because it is too much information for him.
I did mention that he need instructions reinforcing and that they are best given one to one rather than to a group.
He is holding his own academically. He has a 2c in maths and a 2b in reading. This puts him a bit behind the rest of the class now he is in year 3, but not so far behind that he has big issues. A teacher is doing maths with him in a smaller group to help him catch up. Because of this, he will not be eligible for a statement of SEN, as he is not far enough behind the rest of the class.
The teacher is also going to make him a laminated checklist so he can remember what to bring with him when he finishes school on a Friday.
Tuesday, 2 October 2012
Seeing the Doctor
We went to see the paediatrician today.
She was happy with my son's progress. I mentioned his anger issues so she has referred him to a service called CAMHS, which is the children and adolescent mental health services. Hopefully they will be able to help us with some anger management techniques.
She also referred him for a hearing test as he is not always picking up everything I say.
She was happy with my son's progress. I mentioned his anger issues so she has referred him to a service called CAMHS, which is the children and adolescent mental health services. Hopefully they will be able to help us with some anger management techniques.
She also referred him for a hearing test as he is not always picking up everything I say.
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