Autism Diagnosis is not the End of the World

I was reading the Daily Mail today (bad habit, I know) and I read a headline that made my blood boil:

SHATTERING MOMENT I HEARD THE ONE WORD THAT EVERY PARENT DREADS

The article was about the journalist's personal experience of finding out that his son had autism. The article itself was quite interesting, once I'd ignored the parts about him trying to "cure" his son. The son, incidentally, grew up to be a fine young man with a good job and a girlfriend, so I'm not exactly sure what all the fuss was about.

It was the headline that really annoyed me. The one word that every parent dreads? Really? There are a lot of things that I dread, but autism isn't one of them. Autism isn't deadly. It won't kill you. It isn't the end of the world.

I was actually hugely relieved when my son got his diagnosis. It meant I actually had a name for his condition and that I could get the support and help that we needed.

I wonder how the journalist's son felt when he read his father's article? I wonder how he reacted, knowing how his dad felt about his autism and the idea that it was something that needed to be "fixed?"

Autism isn't an illness. It is just a different way of viewing the world. Maybe I'd change the headline to this:

JOURNALIST PROMOTES THE ONE THING THAT EVERY AUTISM PARENT DREADS: IGNORANCE.

Brilliant Blogpost About Public Meltdowns

I read this blogpost today and it was absolutely spot on. I just thought I'd share it with everyone.

http://flappinessis.com/dear-shopper-staring-at-my-child-having-a-meltdown-in-the-grocery-store/

Autistic Man Opens Up to Teachers

This man wrote a letter to his teacher detailing all the things he would have liked to have told them as a child. It hurt him to be labelled as "naughty" but he couldn't adequately express himself when he was younger and wasn't diagnosed with Aspergers until he was an adult.

I found it really moving to read.

http://themighty.com/2015/11/man-with-autism-writes-what-he-wishes-hed-said-to-childhood-teachers/?utm_campaign=site_fb&utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social

Parenting Autism and Depression

I've been feeling a bit low lately, but found this really good article online that helped me to understand myself a bit better. I'm sharing it in the hope that it will help other autism parents like me.

http://iancommunity.org/cs/articles/parental_depression

A Weird and Unsettling Glimpse Into the Autistic Mind

A two-minute film has been created to help people understand the intensity of life with autism, particularly when it comes to sensory overload. It's powerful stuff. I got quite emotional watching it and felt very sad for my son if this is what his world is like. No wonder he has meltdowns.

Intense viewing.

Watch the film here.

Don't Stare, I'm Not Naughty!

Watching an excellent BBC documentary which EXACTLY echoes our experience and frustration with CAHMS and mental health services. Especially the part where the poor mum is fed up of being fobbed off from one service to the other. Proof that the current system is woefully inadequate.

Please watch this documentary if you would like some insight into what parents like us have to deal with all the time!

It Takes Effort...

When I'm sitting there with my head in my hands as my child runs around having the mother of all meltdowns, I'm sure plenty of onlookers are giving me condescending looks and classifying me as yet another incompetent parent. You know, the type of person who says their kid has ADHD just to excuse their poor parenting skills.

But let me tell you something. If you had any idea what goes on behind the scenes, you might just think differently:

1. I've spent countless hours ferrying my child from one appointment to another. We have seen psychologists, paediatricians, speech and language therapists, occupational therapists, mental health counsellors and doctors. We go to a LOT of appointments.

2. I've had to be an advocate for my child at school, when the provision was poor, fighting his corner for him and attending IEP meetings to discuss his progress.

3. When school provision proved to be inadequate, I chose to home educate my child, putting in many hours helping him to learn skills that most people take for granted, such as self-care skills and how to cope in social situations. These lessons have to be repeated and reinforced many times.

4. Starting from scratch to build up the academic skills that the school failed to teach him, like times tables. It meant taking a completely different approach based on words and stories, but it finally paid off.

5. Attending courses based on parenting autism, such as the excellent Cygnet course, as well as groups run by the local parent partnership about issues like personal development and bullying.

6. Many hours spent online and in the library, researching autism and ADHD therapies and information.

7. Time spent ferrying him to social clubs and activities for kids with autism, so that he can develop practical and social skills.


So you can see that parenting autism is a full time job and requires a lot of care and dedication. Anyone else putting this much hard work into a project would receive praise and commendation, but autism parents often receive judgement and condemnation. People think that we are neglectful and permissive when they see our kids acting out. They don't realise how we go above and beyond the call of duty to ensure the best life possible for our children.