I now have a reward system to encourage good behaviour and it seems to be working quite well for us.
I have a big bag of treats that I let the kids dip into every evening if they have been good all day.
OK...its bribery basically...but it seems to work for us!
A mother's journey through the ups and downs of parenting a child on the Autistic Spectrum.
Thursday, 9 January 2014
Tuesday, 12 November 2013
School Gate Blues...Again!
So it's been a while since I had any problems with school. Things have been remarkably smooth since he started in his new class, as his teacher is absolutely brilliant and has had experience teaching autistic children before.
When the children come out of school, she always holds my son's hand and only lets go when I arrive to collect him.
So far, so good.
EXCEPT for when she is not there...
Today, she was not there and the teaching assistant was responsible for lining the kids up at the end of the school day. When I arrived, my son was not with the other children. He was playing on a rocky area a short distance away.
When I confronted the assistant, she told my son off for wandering off. Whilst I agree that he should not have wandered off, I did point out to her, that she was responsible for keeping an eye on him, to which she replied that she has lots of children to look after. Duh? That's her job! Is she saying that a few escapees are an acceptable risk?
I told her I was not happy and that I was going to complain (my husband thinks this is hilarious because I am usually quiet but turn into a dragon if any of my kids are threatened in any way!). I stomped off to the headmistress who was very understanding and gave me yet another apology from the school to add to my growing collection.
I'm going to stop now because words fail me.
When the children come out of school, she always holds my son's hand and only lets go when I arrive to collect him.
So far, so good.
EXCEPT for when she is not there...
Today, she was not there and the teaching assistant was responsible for lining the kids up at the end of the school day. When I arrived, my son was not with the other children. He was playing on a rocky area a short distance away.
When I confronted the assistant, she told my son off for wandering off. Whilst I agree that he should not have wandered off, I did point out to her, that she was responsible for keeping an eye on him, to which she replied that she has lots of children to look after. Duh? That's her job! Is she saying that a few escapees are an acceptable risk?
I told her I was not happy and that I was going to complain (my husband thinks this is hilarious because I am usually quiet but turn into a dragon if any of my kids are threatened in any way!). I stomped off to the headmistress who was very understanding and gave me yet another apology from the school to add to my growing collection.
I'm going to stop now because words fail me.
Tuesday, 3 September 2013
The Big Debate: Video Games in the Bedroom
I know that this is a subject that polarises people. For a long time I was strictly in the "No TV or video games in the bedroom" camp.
I didn't like the idea of the kids having games in their rooms because I thought that they would spend too much time on them and also that the screen would stop them sleeping so well.
However, after much pressure from my son, I have finally given in.
The problem was that we had one TV in the living room and the kids were rotating taking turns on the games consoles. This meant that we never got time to actually watch TV on it and there always seemed to be games running. Having 3 kids, this often led to agitation and arguments. The other problem was that we have quite a few older games consoles, so I would be constantly swapping between the Playstation, Wii and Nintendos.
Anyway, the little one was asking to have a TV in his room so that he could have one of the older consoles connected to it to play games. I asked around on freegle and someone very kindly gave me a little portable TV.
He absolutely loves it. Of course, I am going to impose time restrictions on it, but so far there have been no problems. For some reason, the kids have all been co-operating a lot better whilst crammed into his box room playing on the old console. It also gives him some control and independence.
So far, so good.
Autistic kids love video games, and like 'em or hate 'em, they are a part of life these days. The games we buy are all kiddie-friendly, usually racing games or sports games. I would never buy violent games for him.
Life is a bit more peaceful. My son has his own space and territory. His room is somewhere he can get away from things if they get stressful. I know that not everyone agrees with video games and TV's in the bedroom, but in our case, it works. and it gives us ALL some respite.
I didn't like the idea of the kids having games in their rooms because I thought that they would spend too much time on them and also that the screen would stop them sleeping so well.
However, after much pressure from my son, I have finally given in.
The problem was that we had one TV in the living room and the kids were rotating taking turns on the games consoles. This meant that we never got time to actually watch TV on it and there always seemed to be games running. Having 3 kids, this often led to agitation and arguments. The other problem was that we have quite a few older games consoles, so I would be constantly swapping between the Playstation, Wii and Nintendos.
Anyway, the little one was asking to have a TV in his room so that he could have one of the older consoles connected to it to play games. I asked around on freegle and someone very kindly gave me a little portable TV.
He absolutely loves it. Of course, I am going to impose time restrictions on it, but so far there have been no problems. For some reason, the kids have all been co-operating a lot better whilst crammed into his box room playing on the old console. It also gives him some control and independence.
So far, so good.
Autistic kids love video games, and like 'em or hate 'em, they are a part of life these days. The games we buy are all kiddie-friendly, usually racing games or sports games. I would never buy violent games for him.
Life is a bit more peaceful. My son has his own space and territory. His room is somewhere he can get away from things if they get stressful. I know that not everyone agrees with video games and TV's in the bedroom, but in our case, it works. and it gives us ALL some respite.
Sunday, 11 August 2013
NAS Parent to Parent Service
I just thought I would post this useful information about the National Autistic Society Parent to Parent Service.
The service is a helpline run by volunteer parents who have experience with autism. They can give help, advice and a non-judgemental listening ear. Volunteers are based all over the UK, so parents don't have to share information with someone local if they do not wish to.
The service offers complete anonymity and can direct users to the appropriate services so that they can get help.
The number is 0808 800 4106
The service is a helpline run by volunteer parents who have experience with autism. They can give help, advice and a non-judgemental listening ear. Volunteers are based all over the UK, so parents don't have to share information with someone local if they do not wish to.
The service offers complete anonymity and can direct users to the appropriate services so that they can get help.
The number is 0808 800 4106
Parent to Parent is a
UK-wide confidential
telephone service
providing emotional support
to parents and carers
of children or adults with
autism. The service is
provided by trained parent
volunteers who offer
telephone support from their
own homes. The Parent
to Parent volunteers are
based across the UK, so
parents don’t have to
share information with
someone in their local area
Parent to Parent is a
UK-wide confidential
telephone service
providing emotional support
to parents and carers
of children or adults with
autism. The service is
provided by trained parent
volunteers who offer
telephone support from their
own homes. The Parent
to Parent volunteers are
based across the UK, so
parents don’t have to
share information with
someone in their local area
Tuesday, 30 July 2013
Autism Friendly Film Screenings
Now the school holidays are upon us, we have the tricky task of entertaining the kids. This task is even more tricky when your child is autistic, as the sensory overload can sometimes be too much.
I had an email from our local Parent partnership the other day and it was all about autism friendly cinema screenings. I think these are a great idea as my son often finds cinema frustrating. There are too many adverts and the noise is too loud and scary. We had to take him out of the cinema once because he was screaming and crying because of the volume levels.
Autism friendly cinema screenings have these special features:
1.The lights will be on low
2.The volume will be turned down
3.There will be no trailers at the beginning of the film
4.You'll be able to take your own food and drinks
5.You'll be able to move around the cinema if you like, although no running is allowed.
If you live in the UK, there is a dedicated website showing where all of the special screenings are due to take place nationwide. The site is called Dimensions and the link is here.
I had an email from our local Parent partnership the other day and it was all about autism friendly cinema screenings. I think these are a great idea as my son often finds cinema frustrating. There are too many adverts and the noise is too loud and scary. We had to take him out of the cinema once because he was screaming and crying because of the volume levels.
Autism friendly cinema screenings have these special features:
1.The lights will be on low
2.The volume will be turned down
3.There will be no trailers at the beginning of the film
4.You'll be able to take your own food and drinks
5.You'll be able to move around the cinema if you like, although no running is allowed.
If you live in the UK, there is a dedicated website showing where all of the special screenings are due to take place nationwide. The site is called Dimensions and the link is here.
Friday, 28 June 2013
SMART Targets
An IEP is a document that parents and teachers work on together, creating up to 3 short term goals for the child to work on.
The goals are expected to be SMART, which means:
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Relevant
Time Related.
In other words, the goals shouldn't be vague things like:
"Jimmy must improve his letter formation"
Rather, it would be:
"Jimmy must work on writing the letters a, e i, o and u over the next 8 weeks."
It is also a good idea for the IEP to include an idea of what help can be given and how often and also how progress will be measured.
The parent, teacher and child will sign the IEP and everyone gets a copy to keep. The child may be given a "Child Friendly" version.
The goals are expected to be SMART, which means:
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Relevant
Time Related.
In other words, the goals shouldn't be vague things like:
"Jimmy must improve his letter formation"
Rather, it would be:
"Jimmy must work on writing the letters a, e i, o and u over the next 8 weeks."
It is also a good idea for the IEP to include an idea of what help can be given and how often and also how progress will be measured.
The parent, teacher and child will sign the IEP and everyone gets a copy to keep. The child may be given a "Child Friendly" version.
Monday, 17 June 2013
Stimming
Not heard of stimming before?
Well, most of us do it!
If you tap your toes, drum your fingers on the table, bite nails or shuffle around when bored or nervous, then you are stimming!
Autistic people do it a lot. When my son was younger, he used to stim by tapping parts of his body with his hands. He did grow out of that behaviour, but sometimes does it if he is very angry or frustrated. Apparently, about 10% of people with autism stim.
This weekend, he started a new one. He started drumming the furniture with his hands. Sometimes he gets quite loud. I don't mind it too much, but it can get a bit disruptive if we are trying to watch TV, or if we are out and about in public.
There are lots of good articles on the internet about stimming. Here are a few of them:
http://autism.wikia.com/wiki/Stimming
About.com article
http://myspecialsweetpea.com/stimming.html
I am not overly worried about his stimming habits and if they help him calm down, then I don't have a problem with it.
Well, most of us do it!
If you tap your toes, drum your fingers on the table, bite nails or shuffle around when bored or nervous, then you are stimming!
Autistic people do it a lot. When my son was younger, he used to stim by tapping parts of his body with his hands. He did grow out of that behaviour, but sometimes does it if he is very angry or frustrated. Apparently, about 10% of people with autism stim.
This weekend, he started a new one. He started drumming the furniture with his hands. Sometimes he gets quite loud. I don't mind it too much, but it can get a bit disruptive if we are trying to watch TV, or if we are out and about in public.
There are lots of good articles on the internet about stimming. Here are a few of them:
http://autism.wikia.com/wiki/Stimming
About.com article
http://myspecialsweetpea.com/stimming.html
I am not overly worried about his stimming habits and if they help him calm down, then I don't have a problem with it.
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