Worry Eater Toy

As in my previous post, I want to point out that this is a product that I bought with my own money and this post is not sponsored in any way. I'm just reviewing a toy that might help some of you out there with anxious kids.

My son has been having problems with ruminating (playing the same thoughts on a loop in his head) and general anxieties. He finds that it does help to write his feelings down, as the physical act of writing forces him to slow down and think deeply, which has a calming effect.

I was shopping online and saw these toys and thought they were a great idea to take that concept a little further. The toys are called Worry Eaters and are little plush characters with a zip mouth.

The idea is that the child (or teen or even adult!) can write down their worries, bad thoughts or nightmares on a piece of paper and then zip it inside the toy, who then "eats" the worry and makes it disappear.

The toys come in all different sizes or even key rings. Ours is called Enno. There are lots of colours and styles to choose from and they are nice and soft and sensory. The zip has large plastic teeth so is not likely to get caught.

The design is simple enough that something similar could probably be made at home quite easily, or adapted to suit a particular need.

Anyway, I'm going to see how things go with our Worry Eater and report back in a few weeks so watch this space...

Cooling Gel Pad

Please note this is NOT a sponsored post. It is just my review of my experience with a product that I bought with my own money. Readers may find it useful.

It is so hot here at the moment and our autistic kids do seem to suffer and wilt in the heat, don't they?
Sleeping can be difficult and they can get stressed because of the sensory overload from the hot weather.

A friend of mine, who is also an autism parent, suggested buying a gel pad. I'd never heard of them before and was intrigued to find out more.

They pads are actually designed for pets. The idea is that dogs and cats get hot in the summer but the pad cools down their body temperature. The pad is filled with a special gel that wicks heat away from the body. They do not need to be refrigerated and do not use electricity. The secret is in the special cooling gel inside. They can be useful for pets with arthritis and other medical conditions.

The pads are perfect for autistic children for a number of reasons. Firstly, the gel makes them quite weighty, like a weighted blanket, which may be calming. The gel also feels quite squishy and sensory.

As you apply pressure to the pad, it starts to feel cool, so it's perfect for putting on a bed or chair. It feels really good.

My kids and cat have tried the pad and everyone loves it. You can get different sized ones, but the one I got was a small one from B and M. It cost me £5, which I thought was great value. The brand was "Chilli Paws."

I hope this information helps someone. And remember- try and stay cool!

Dining Out With an Autistic Child

We went out for a meal yesterday, a farewell meal for some dear friends who are moving away.

It's lovely to be invited to things like this, but obviously a bit of planning is involved for it to be a success. A lot involves anticipating what difficulties your child may have and how these may be overcome.

I think the main problem for autistic people when eating out is the sensory overload, which is coming from all directions. The restaurant may be unfamiliar and there are likely to be lots of noises from people talking and from the kitchens. Visually, think about the impact that decor and lighting may have on a sensitive child. Thirdly, consider the food options and whether there will be an option that the child feels comfortable with.

Parents also need to consider waiting times, as food needs to be cooked and service isn't always very fast. If a child is hungry, their immediate needs could be overwhelming them.

So by anticipating these potential issues, we can come in with solutions to counter them.

It can be a good idea to find images of the restaurant on the internet, so that the child can see what the layout and decor is like before they go. Maybe you could find out when the restaurant is quiet or busy and schedule a visit at a quieter time. You could also do a "dry run" by going to see the restaurant before the actual visit so that they know what to expect.

If the child is sensitive to noise, then parents could utilise tools like ear defenders or maybe some headphones and familiar music which should hopefully have a calming effect and serve as a distraction. Again, it may help to sit in a quieter part of the restaurant that may not have as much footfall.

Most places have a menu that is accessible online so you can look at food options and discuss with your child what they may want to eat before they go. In our case, we were at an Indian restaurant but our son eats very plain food so we ordered him a plain omelette and chips, which he loved. Sometimes restaurants will cook things that are not on the menu if you ask nicely and explain the issues involved.

For long waiting times we use distraction techniques like a puzzle book, handheld console or colouring pad. This helps the time to go quicker when waiting for food.

It may be appropriate to mention your child's issues to restaurant staff so that they are understanding. Also have an action plan in mind for how you will deal with potential meltdowns. Is there a quiet room that you can take the child if they have a meltdown? Consider how you will deal with it if the worst case scenario happens.

If your child is on medication, make sure they have taken it before they go!

Our son behaved really well last night and I'm so proud of him.

If anyone has any tips or can think of anything I haven't t covered please feel free to leave a comment.

Support Network

One of the really important things for parents of autistic children to think about is finding a support network. Never underestimate the importance of surrounding yourself with people who understand your situation and care about you. Isolation is one of the worst things that an autism parent can experience.

But how can you go about creating a support network? The key is to find others who are in a similar situation to yourself and to reach out.

If your child goes to a special school, you could try and get chatting with the other parents at the school gate, or during coffee mornings or "get togethers" at the school. Hopefully these people live locally and you may be able to arrange to meet up and socialise outside of school hours.

The internet is also a great source of support, with many groups and chatrooms dedicated to parents of autistic children.

There may also be specialist groups in your local area, so it is well worth finding out what is available.

Real friendships can be made, with bonds that last a lifetime. And it is lovely to know that there is someone who understands the difficulties you face and can share the highs and the lows, giving encouragement when needed and a shoulder to cry on.

So what are you waiting for? Don't isolate yourself! Get networking! And if there isn't a group where you live, why not create one?

Getting an ECHP as Home Educators

This is a blogpost I wrote for the Family Fund Blog last year.

I'll start with a little background history: Our son has autism and ADHD but was in mainstream school until year four. At the time, he was on 'School Action Plus' which is a step below a full statement. But because he was just about keeping up with the rest of the class academically the school would not issue him a statement, despite his having significant communication, social and self-care difficulties. He was deeply unhappy in a school system that was inadequate for his needs and we ended up making the drastic decision to home-school, for the sake of everyone's sanity.

Three years later and although home-schooling is working well for us, it does present a few problems. We no longer have as much access to speech and language therapy and educational psychology provision that was available in the school setting. We are essentially 'off the grid', which raises real concerns for our son's future, as he will not be able to continue in further education when he is older without some sort of care plan in place. With this in mind, we decided to apply for an EHCP.

The good thing about the EHCP is that it considers ALL of the child's needs and not just the academic ones, making it a better fit for our circumstances. Assessment was slightly different for us, as our son is not in school, so we were assigned a key worker from the local Special Education Needs (SEN) team to help us through the process and then had a visit from an educational psychologist to assess our son. Having no school staff to back up our application, I had to rely on letters from doctors and specialists - thankfully I had a whole ring binder full of them.

The application has to go through two panels. We got through the first one without any issues, and are currently waiting for our case to be heard by the second one. A draft plan has been drawn up by our key worker outlining our son's needs and the provision his school will have to make to accommodate him. We also used a third-party charity called KIDS to look over our application and make sure that the wording was acceptable. I would definitely recommend doing this, as their advice is invaluable and they have a LOT more experience in EHCP applications than I do!

So for now, it is a waiting game. Our draft plan is ready and we are hoping that the education authority can find an appropriate school place for our son. The sad thing is that it never should have come to this. If adequate provision had been made when he first started school, we wouldn’t be going through this now. It is a very stressful time and because our case is unusual, I have no idea how successful we will be.

My thoughts and best wishes to anyone going through the EHCP application process right now.

*Update- Our application was successful and now our son is in a special school that fits his needs perfectly. The process was tricky but I'm so glad we managed to succeed in the end.

Restarting the Blog After a Long Break

I always loved writing this blog but in 2016 I decided to close it down and stop writing.

I had a couple of reasons for doing this that felt important to me at the time.

Firstly, I felt that my son deserved his dignity and privacy. When parents write blogs about their children, the kids don't really have much say in what is being put out over the internet for all to see, and that doesn't really seem fair.

Secondly, I had been "told off" by a fellow blogger, an autistic lady, who told me that as I am not autistic myself, I'm no expert on autism.

So...I've made a few changes. I've gone back and updated some of the previous posts and deleted things that I felt were too personal. I'm making the focus of the blog more about PARENTING autism rather than being about my child specifically. I've kept a few of the old diary entries because they really sum up how I felt about things at a particular point in time and I think that it may resonate with some readers.

Hope you enjoy the new improved blog, and if you have any suggestions for topics, please feel free to leave a message!